Twitchy

I have been twitchy all day, so I did what I do when twitchy: I whined and moaned and made everyone around me irritable.

I dragged Ayda-brat and Tempus on some senseless killing. Tempus kept winking at Ayda which made her blushy at first and later all stompy and brattish. She even snapped at some point. Telling him that she's only 15 didn't seem to help!

And still I remained twitchy...

Later in the shop a bunch of people showed up and Ayda-brat told me I was orange sherbert. That made me even more twitchy!

As a revenge, I have decided it is time for some more verses. But not yet. I will serve it cold. Stay tuned.

Another Wedding

I said that for Kairi and Archangel's wedding I'd place an add for a date, but Carnegie Hurst must have overheard and decided to take pity on me.
So this time, I wasn't only with a bunch of sweet friends who came too, but also had a date. I was a somewhat dull date and Carnegie kept nodding off, but he knows I was tired, so I hope he won't hold it against me.

Abbot Suger was to conduct the ceremony but he kept running away! Eventually Chaykin managed somehow to convince him to stay, which I suppose wasn't very nice because shortly after and right before the ceremony began, Zillah killed him. We've been sitting on the un-cushioned pews for an hour; the guests were growing restless (except Carnegie who just fell asleep); and the towering ice-statue was beginning to melt, so Chaykin made a decision and allowed the invisible ghost of the abbot to conduct the thing. Phew.
Other than dodging spikes of ice dropping from the ceiling, and stifling giggles when the abbot read a love poem to Archangel, we all behaved, so as a reward, we were all invited back to Kairi's for cake.

The ever resourceful Chaykin picked us all in his Tardis and dropped us in the driveway of the house. Except Kairi wasn't too convinced. She took a long glance around and finally stated, 'No, this isn't my house.' A few moments of confusion followed: the driveway was empty and nothing there could serve as a hint of the true owners, except... hmm... except for a peculiar sweet smell...
Yes, you got it, my dears, Chaykin dropped us off in Zillah's patchouli-reeking house, and to add insult to injury, rained cake all over his floor. Much hilarity ensued and Lime's faint objections were drowned by Xuvie's excited cries of 'let's trash the place!' Kevin was already getting ready to go inside, but Chaykin was faster! He picked us all up and quickly delivered us to the right driveway this time, and what a pretty and patchouli-free driveway!

By this point I was so tired that I am not sure exactly what was going on. There were drinks and cake, but nobody could pick them up, not even Kairi. Only Lime could, so she served as waitress for the evening. Xuvie was accosted by one of the wedding guests but we are not allowed to mention it: le trauma. I asked Carnegie if he would mind taking me home, and the perfect gentleman that he is, he immediately did his magicks and I was back at the shop.

Good night! Good night! Lovely wedding! Let me just... oh.... Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

N.B
Archangel and Kairi did the same mistake as Nadia and Moris: they did not book WoR for the reception. I can tell Stoli is itching for some action (Stoli is Therese... our singer... Yay!!!! We got the coolest singer ever!), because she's been spray-painting her name all over the place. I hope we get something soon!

Hurty-Hurty

I couldn't get a date, so I went alone to Moris and Nadia's wedding, but as soon as I reached the place, Malia was already there, and Aryia and Ranmaru soon joined, so it wasn't bad at all. It was strange sitting with Aryia and Ranmaru there, considering that the last wedding I've been to was theirs, and we all know how that went...

Two winged lords conducted the ceremony. Well, one winged lord *tried* to conduct the ceremony, the other one just kept interrupting. Or maybe both kept interrupting. I couldn't tell: they looked and sounded so alike. When one of them claimed (or maybe the second one) that we are all the subjects of Lucifer, I had to comment. I mean, get a reality check, winged lordy.

Then Shivan showed up, tried to kill Nadia, and a winged lord spilled almost an entire river of glue over him. But it wasn't over because as soon as the ceremony was over and we all rejoined near for the reception, Shivan shows up again and this time tries to kill both Nadia and Moris. What a cute couple! They kept rescuing each other, basically not really allowing either to do much. After what seemed like hours of fighting (and mutual rescuing), Shivan killed both of them. I guess because it was their wedding day and all, the gods must have felt gracious and let them return and, yeah, NOT as zombies.

We had a marvelous time at the wedding! Cakes and dancing and lotsa alcohol.

Shivan wasn't the only hurty-hurty person this weekend. Zillah and Lime are also very hurty-hurty. Zillah was hurty-hurty all over the local paper with 'EeeeeeEeeeeeE Nobody Loves Me', and Lime all over her journal with 'EeeeeEeeeeeE Nobody Loves Me'. They both feel so unloved that strangely they do what makes some people NOT love them in the first place: become all rude and obnoxious.
Dear Journal thing, a lot of it is about me. I never knew I had the powers to make people feel so unloved. I am but one person who dislikes them. I'm sure they are loved by others! I'm sure Zillah's 'entourage', which is significantly bigger than anyone else's (due probably to the fact that most people have 'friends' and not 'entourages') love him and each other. Oh, and their mothers: surely they must love them?

Why do bullies always end up feeling like victims?

Did I retaliate? No. I'll explain why. In their heads there is some war going on, but that's the only place that war is going on. Out here in the real world people go about their business of living, not battling.
But also, this morning, as I was drinking my coffee, the murky residue left at the bottom of the cup showed a very distinct shape: that of a heart.
I don't have time for wars! Love is coming my way!!! Wheeee!

WoR in trouble

The time for our first gig is drawing near and we still don't have a lead singer.
We've had quite a few applications, which is surprising considering we haven't yet put up an ad. Pix is in charge, and the screening is long and grueling. Besides talent, which is a given, we also ask people about their taste in music. If they like bollix, they should join a band specializing in bollix, right?


We do have a new second roadie/security. That would be Crowbar. She'd have made an excellent singer, but she prefers to lift things and intimidate the fans. Provided we'll have those. Squirt created a totally brilliant logo for the band and once we get an advance for the gig, we'll start hanging posters.

But no singer. Maybe it's time for some compromise. We'll definitely not compromise on taste in music. No way ever NO. But maybe we can compromise on talent...
Or maybe it's time to post an ad. Or maybe it's time to seek help from the cards.

The Exasperated Avocado Entry

I do not like avocado.


I know that this might alienate some avocado advocates. I know some people think avocado is just another word for 'perfection'. But there it is: I do not like avocado, thank you very much.

New Birthday Day

Well, it is that time of year when people of no religion, like me, feel a little left out.

It's not that I don't believe there are some greater powers. I'm a psychic, I *know* that there are. But whether they are internal or external, I don't know nor wish to know. Whatever those powers are, I'm pretty convinced that they don't need me to worship them or to obsess over them.

As for the Goddess, friend Malia, who on occasion speaks to the Goddess on account of being a high priestess, gave me green light to make of the goddess what I want. 'She's in us all', she said, more or less, 'No matter what form.' So I make of her what I like: something very vague and ephemeral and bordering on absolutely nothing.

Then there are the dualists with their all-too-convenient, blasé moral-dualism. Don't get me started on those.

And the New Year celebrations...
What the hell do those mean anyway? How the hell is mid-winter the beginning of anything? April may be the cruelest month, but if I had to pick a beginning, I'd probably pick April.

So I celebrated my birthday instead, and what a celebration it was!
I'd like to say we partied all night and stuff, but really, all we did was the same old chatting in the shop. The only difference was that there was cake (a la Sandra!), and presents.

Good old Carnegie brought me a model Grecian Villa. I took it to a boatmaker who coated it to become the bestest ever boat.
Beautiful Ranmaru planted a blooming Loquat tree in the shop. I know it's a bit unusual, but the fruit is so sweet, and it provides more seating space, if you don't mind climbing.
Chara nearly brought tears to my eyes when she presented me with a bracelet made of human hair. I shan't say if those were tears of joy. Suffice to say that er, I'm allergic, yeah. I'm allergic to human hair, so I carefully packed the stunning bracelet and put it in my bag.
Sandra, besides cake, also brought me a big wrapped present. Inside was a custom made stationary, for my letters, fudge and something pinkish and tokenish which I traded for a sack of potatoes.
Pix, fashionably late, brought me a purple bass guitar. There's a little frog sitting on it with a witch's hat. Witchy Frog and Spectral Frog are already becoming best of friends. Beegu just sullenly watches both from my shoulder, slightly disapproving.

My new birthday resolutions:
To be kinder to people.
To fall completely and madly in love.

My more realistic new birthday resolutions:
To have a thoroughly good adventure in Tartarus. A proper stroll is really overdue.

Witches of Ribbit

With the SSGW growing a bit bored by the subjects they are supposed to watch (yeah yeah, we should have anticipated the job will be a tad repetitive), and after having been accused lately by the zill of being small-minded and leading an empty life (?), I realised that the very justification for my existence is in jeopardy.
So... what else to could I do?

I joined a band!

I'm not really sure what our music is like yet, and we still don't have a lead singer or second guitar. But... we have the band name (Witches of Ribbit!), and we've sorted out hair colours and personal nicks for each member. We even have a roadie! So I am pretty sure that Spud, Pip, Pix and Lockjaw are on the road to Cool. If you don't believe me, check the cards. Oh, you can't check the cards? Well, lucky I did it for you already. I checked them and it is certain: our band is going to be a huge SUCCESS.

So yay!

Other than that? I have been feeling a little nauseated by the new flood of Care Bears. Had to endure a few bear-hugs and I love you's, but I'm keeping up a brave front. No point in whining because the more we whine, the more determined they become to make us all puke.
But late at night, when nobody is looking or reading my mind (don't you hate when people do that?!) I close my eyes and pretend that Funshine and GoodLuck and Wish and TakeCare and the rest of them pukey bunch, are really just Flippy, Cuddles, Giggles and Sniffles in disguise!

Dumpy

You didn't hear this from me, but it seems as though Lady Malia might be a dumpy.
See, she drank some vampire blood by mistake and now she's acting a little peculiar. She's very irritable and she can't eat regular food. Makes her sick.

It was Chara the Vampire who suggested that Malia might be a dumpy (ok, she calls is dhampir, or something). I don't know if we should take her word for it. I mean, she is a vampire, and vampires tend to lie (humans tend to lie too, except that when you suggest to them that they might be lying, they get all indignant and self-righteous. Vampires, on the other hand, just stretch and smirk and wink and then grin [SSGW: a lot of evil folk do the ssgw. In fact, this is one of the sure signs to spot an evil folk: they would greet you with the Stretch, then they may say a word or two and do the Smirk. If they are in high spirits, they'd add the Grin and finish off with the suggestive Wink {they are very subtle, the modern evil folk. They are nothing like the old, outdated evil folk who used to cackle or use the cliche'd muhahaha.}]).
Anyway!!! I didn't really know what a dumpy was until Samantha Sykes suggested a trip to the old library in Googleshire. We picked a yellowing copy of Ye Olde and Accurayt Wykipediae and there it was: the knowledge we were seeking.

So a dhampir is half human half vampire. They are usually born this way, but in some cases, I guess, this mixture can happen later in life. Maybe the vampire blood kind of mixed real well with the witch's blood.
Dhampirs have special powers. Oh yes they do. They are natural vampire slayers. Their human side means they don't particularly appreciate vampires, and their vampy side means that they can sense other vampires and have, much like vampires, special powers.

Malia the Vampire Slayer?

Ooooooooooooh!!!!!

Vampire

There is a new vampire in town.

Dreva dropped some garlic in the shop, and Malia weaved an illusion around it to make it seem more formidable. It won't stop the vampire from entering the shop, but maybe it would keep her under control.

I know because she stopped by last night. I told her, no funny business now, and surprisingly, she complied. Maybe it wasn't the garlic. Maybe it was just the fact that the shop was crowded and she felt outnumbered. Or maybe it's because she's too busy taunting Lime at the moment.

Either way, she behaved. I'm compiling a list of the worst things about vampires. For now, I'll leave you with this:

1. They smell funny.
2. They all dress like goth-wannabes. They give us real goths a bad name.

Costume

Yesterday Xuvie and I went costume hunting. After much adventuring (we came across some disagreeables who we were forced to kill), we returned to the shop laden with packages of.... stuff!
Aryia and Krista joined and we sorted through everything to decide what is a keeper and what shall be junked right awayish. So now my costume is ready. Just need to steal some patchouli from Zill and I'm done.


Soon a Drevale joined, and Cosmo-Snoopy, and Uber-Malia, and later Gun Girl Sammi (Kyaaa!), and Vincenza the witchy witch and Ayda the bratty brat, and Kilala the cutest kitten ever. And I think maybe we had a party. Or maybe not. I don't think we had any food or alcohol. So no, maybe it wasn't a party. But I was cheerful over costume, so maybe I had a party and nobody else knew.

Fennecs, or Fatboxes, are cute. There was a general agreement.

A Letter from Home

I received a letter from home this morning:

Hi Flower,
I am writing this letter to the sound of your dad outside shouting at bees. If you were here, we'd both be sitting in the kitchen and laughing, but you're not, so instead I sit in the kitchen by myself and, trying to stifle the giggles, I'm writing to you.
Do you remember when grandma died and we left her old chest of drawers in the basement? Well with your dad so busy with his new beehive, we had a bit of a flood and the basement is now a swimming pool, and, to cut a long story short, as your dad carried the chest out to dry in the field we discovered it had a secret compartment.
There is a hollow space between the drawer and the bottom of the chest, but we can't figure out how to open it. Your dad suggested we just take it apart, but if my intuition is correct, and that compartment contains the documents we thought we'd lost, I wouldn't want to take any chances of damaging them.I know you want like what I'm about to ask you. I know how you feel about ghosts. But I also promise that I will not ask again and that I have no choice. We need you to run a seance, get Granny on the other line, and ask her how to open that secret compartment. Ok flower?
Oh and Orchid, if you do get to talk to her, I could use the recipe for her cheery pie. I have tried oh so many times, but something there is missing. So please, don't forget the recipe for the cheery pie. Thank you honey.

Madame also wrote to complain that you never write or visit the academy anymore. I don't mean to alarm you, but it sounds like she may be planning a visit to your shop.

I know your dad would have sent his love if he wasn't too busy with the bees.
And please send my regards to little Dreva. Her solution to the fence situation is working miracles.

Love,
Your Mum.


Dreva seems fine with the idea. I can't say I'm too happy. Ghosts tend to stick around me and I spend my life trying to get rid of them, not invite them over for tea and biscuits. But, what can I do…
I suppose we'll need a big round table and a hell of a lot of candles.
*mutter*

Cold

I don't know if it's from spending too much time drowning in swamps. Maybe it's the frequent visits to Alaska for wands. Whatever the reason, I came down with a big cold yesterday, so I spent most of the day teary-eyed, coughing sniffling and sneezing. No fun. Grumpy too. And it feels like people are always in the shop.
I used to think it would be rude to get up and leave. But it looks like people hang out there regardless whether I am in or out, so I feel less guilty now if I take off to be alone a bit.

Aryia and I have been commissioned to run a review on Mabel's shop, but whenever we come around, the shop is deserted. We might have to postpone this for a little while and write about Jenni's house.
Aryia is not happy. From talking to her it sounds like Ranmaru is drifting away from her. Did he have some living left inside him at first and now it's all gone? Are we running out of time? I couldn't say for sure. Maybe it isn't Ranmaru that's changing. Maybe Aryia's memories of the living man she loves are beginning to fade. I hope we find a way to fix him soon. I'm sad for him and her, and it's not just my cold talking.

So yeah, life's been pretty quiet (with the occasional ear-splitting sneeze).

There are, of course, the usual dramas from the hell family. And Tori's still missing. But I'm staying out of it this time. When it all doesn't seem irritating, it all seems bleak. Been there, done that, they'll sort it out with or without me poking my nose.
Oh and Malia caught me spying on her for Joel. Acted all casual about it. Looks like I am off the hook. For now.

A quiet evening

Aryia and I have been hired to write home reviews for a local magazine. No idea how this will turn out, but we're both excited! I hope people will welcome us to their homes.
Oh, and give us ice cream. And cookies.

Last night the little demon child came to visit the shop. I was quietly chatting with Carnegie Hurst* when she came bouncing in. I hid behind the old man, but it turned out pretty fast that she comes in peace.

Sounds like she just needed to talk a little bit about her dad and Malia. She complained that Malia looks at her daddy the same way Nadia used to. I assured her that she must be mistaken. I'm sure Nadia used to look at Joel with love. Malia, I'm guessing, looks at him like she'd look at dessert.
(Dessert like ice cream? Maha asked. Yes, exactly, I answered)

She moaned about not liking Malia. I tried to explain that Malia is a grand priestess and that she should do her best to be civil. When Maha asked what civil means, I didn't have the heart to tell her that it means she is not to transform into a scary, fire-surrounded demon, so instead I just suggested she should mind her manners and always say please and thank you ;)

Carnegie* got us all psyched up about Halloween. We don't celebrate it in Faraway, but sounds like a very cool idea! *leap*
Maha's going to dress up as a Trojan Man. I'm not sure yet what I'll dress up as, but it sure is something to think about!

*Carnegie Hurst, whose complete and utter awesomeness must be mentioned and praised. And no, he did NOT make me write this. Really...

A Strange Evening

Yesterday I finally finished my degree in Liberal Arts, and a sense of calm I have not felt in days took over. I was sitting in the shop chatting with Xuvenia, when all of a sudden Aryia bursts in, glaring and granting. Then she did that thing she does right before a bunch of nasty stuff begin to happen, and I doubled over coughing and sneezing and whatnot.

Ok, so she gave me the plague. Surely after what I did to her, it's a tiny price to pay, right? But I wasn't thinking. I guess it was instinct that made me leap for her throat and attack her. In my haste, I forgot to pick up my dagger, and had to resort to scratching, biting and pulling hair.

Then I passed out. When I came to, Malia and Nadia were in the shop, dragging Joel behind. They heard that Aryia was fighting their sister, and came to my rescue. Woooohooo!! I never had anyone watching my back like this before.
(Dreva watches my back, but she does that literally: whenever there is trouble, she tends to hide behind me, leaving nothing for her to see but my back)
I've caused enough damage in Aryia's life, so I convinced Malia and Nadia that it was my fault and not to take revenge. Reluctantly Malia agreed to leave it with a warning to Aryia that should she keep this up, Coven will not help her recover Ranmaru (apparently Aryia seeked Malia's help).

I didn't *really* think it would work, but I had to try. I asked Aryia if we're now even, and when she smiled at me and said that yes, we're even, I felt as if a huge, black, heavy stone had been lifted. Phew.
Malia agreed to help Aryia. The payment: Aryia will serve the Goddess. Aryia agreed without blinking. I guess she really wants the good old blushing Ranmaru back.

We all calmed down and sat down and chatted pleasantly. I thought the big dramas were over for the night. So much for being a psychic...

Maharet bounced into the shop with the usual racket that a Maha makes. She was all giggly and happy and I went downstairs to get her a doll I've been saving for her. I was gone maybe two minutes, but when I returned to the shop, something changed. Apparently Joel called Malia 'dear', and that's all it took really.
Maha threw a tantrum. She accused her parents of lying, she stomped, she growled, she accused Malia of hating her. Aryia, Xuvie and I just sat there staring. First we were a touch amused, but as Maha's tantrum grew fiercer, our amusement was replaced with shock.
Maharet began to change. I'm not sure how to describe it. One minute she was an angry child, the next she was a demon surrounded in flame. When Nadia tried calm her down, somehow that creature, formerly-known-as-Maharet, threw her back with hmmm pure willpower? Nadia crashed against the wall, and I think that's what probably broke the spell. The hateful creature was gone, and crying on the floor was little Maharet.
Later I found from Aryia that this isn't the first time something like this had happened. Apparently Maharet went through a similar transformation the other day when Aliya said or did something not to Maha's content.

I don't know much about children, but when I grew up, we were expected to behave. I know Maha is going through a bit of a hard time, what with her parents splitting up and all, but really… all this bile against Malia and then transforming into a little demon, or whatever that was, just because somebody said something she didn't like? I am concerned.

The Wedding

Wow where to start.

I guess saying that I didn't mean things to go this far would be a good place to start.
I really didn't think Aryia had it in her. I thought she'd sniffle a little. I thought Ranmaru would convince her he didn't do it, eventually, and we'll all have a good laugh at the reception.

I guess I didn't expect Aryia to have such a temper. And while it was directed at me, at some point, I have to admit I'm impressed. You should have seen her operating that flame...quite a coven material. Too bad Ranmaru had to get zombified in the process!

A few people are upset with me now. But they'll get over it. I really don't care. They can all join the bigot club and spend their evenings knitting ugly looking scarves and hating me.
I only care about Aryia and Ranmaru… I wish they'd forgive me :(

Dreva and I baked cookies today. We were even going to bake a peach pie for Ranmaru, but we don't know if zombies eat. Oh, and Moris said he would have helped me if he was there. So I am not completely alone.

Dreva will see if she can make an extra special potion to unzombify Ranmaru. She's really sad about him. I'll definitely help if I can. If they'll let me. *sniffle*